


Entropy

by whatdidyouexpect (youdbetterbeready)



Category: Thor (Comics)
Genre: Epilogue, God of Stories, King Thor (Marvel), M/M, Quote: I assue you brother; the sun will shine on us again.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youdbetterbeready/pseuds/whatdidyouexpect
Summary: Thor makes the ultimate sacrifice for the good of the universe, but at least he's in good(?) company.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Entropy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [patientalien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/patientalien/gifts).



> I have a lot of feelings about the King Thor comic mini-series by Jason Aaron and Esad Ribic, especially Loki's final speech to Gorr the God Butcher (Issue 4, page 8) before he hurls himself into the dying sun to reignite it: 
> 
> What is the sound of the oldest god who has ever lived releasing an ancient lifetime's worth of pent-up resentment, anxiety, and self-loathing in the form of a cosmic storm? 
> 
> It is thunder that rumbles the length of infinity, shattering the pillars of creation. 
> 
> But in the midst of that roar, there is Loki, somehow as loud as the storm. Telling Gorr ... a story. Of every life his brother has ever saved, billions upon billions of them. Every war he's ever won or averted. Every grand, heroic deed, even the ones no one ever knew about. Every moment of kindness and valor. 
> 
> Loki knows this story by heart. Every word.
> 
> "Heh. Now do you see? Gorr was right -- but Thor is Thor!"
> 
> Likewise, at the end of the issue, Thor surveys the newly awakened Midgard, "But there was still a great melancholy upon him. Especially on sunny days" (page 32). Cue waterworks.
> 
> The song lyrics interspersed throughout this humble offering are from "Mr. Blue," featured in the final episode of BoJack Horseman, which I am also not over yet. (Go watch the series finale of The Good Place too, while you're at it. Bring tissues.)

1\. 

He lost all his glitter the day you said no / and his silver turned to blue

He doesn't expect anyone to understand, not completely. Among his granddaughters, Atli is the most honest in her reaction. "So you're just going to what, uphold the sky for the rest of eternity with not even your hammer for company? That's bulls-"

"What Atli means," Frigg interjects, elbowing the youngest Goddess of Thunder; Atli jabs her back, and then Ellisiv has to intervene before things escalate any further. "What she means is that we worry you'll be lonely up there by yourself, Grandfather. It just." She pauses, and then gestures outward with one arm: "Your greatest wish was for the return of Midgard. It finally flourishes anew, and now you're going to spirit yourself away."

"You've never fared well in solitude," Ellisiv adds, still wrestling with Atli. "We can find another way, one in which-"

"No." Thor's ancient, grizzled voice yet commands respect. "I have made my decision." His magnanimous gaze traverses the newly rooted grassy plains of the Earth, landing eventually on a faraway cluster of humanoid forms. "It is because of their return that I am finally able to take my leave. And of you, my precious girls. I know you have one another, and that there is enough of me between you to ensure that all this" - he mimics Frigg's earlier gesture, albeit with both arms - "continues to thrive." 

What he doesn't say, as his trio of granddaughters move to embrace him one last time (Atli and Ellisiv seem to have called a temporary ceasefire after Atli manages one final kick to Ellisiv's shin), is that, as much as he loves the Earth in any capacity, living here when his dearest mortal friends have long expired is but a pale facsimile of his fondest memories of Midgard, and that it hurts his heart to watch humanity stumble and persist with but the faintest memory that some of its finest specimens existed. It is best, he has decided after all these centuries wandering in their wake, to give himself over to their memory, allowing their adventures to play on an unending loop like the cinematic concoctions his mortal friends used to enjoy, allowing them to live on in his mind as cosmic recompense for the sacrifice he plans to make of his physical form. He doesn't expect anyone to understand completely, not even him, but he knows they will respect that this is ultimately his decision to make, and that, at long last, he has made it.

Likewise, for the sake of simplicity, he does not point out that, in fact, he will not actually be alone. 

2\. 

Our guardian star lost all his glow / the day I lost you

He has long grown accustomed to the cold, to the biting frost that steals his breath and demands his fierce survival as payment for its arrival. Harder to accept, even after threat of its total loss, is the sun, the heat that forces his eyes to squint until tears form, only somewhat because of the weather. 

Thor knows what he would say to this, were he ever to pick up his end of their conversations: "Talking to the sky again, brother? Are the back-and-forths with your hammer no longer satisfying?"

And: "Your grandchildren already worry that you've finally slipped the reigns of sanity. Best not to let them see you blathering to a giant, glowing orb all day."

And: "I'm literally the light of your life, now. This is a heavy-handed metaphor even for you, Thor."

Life thrives once more across the universe due to Loki's sacrifice; the sun shines again. From his vantage point down here however, neck sore from craning, face caked with dried tears, Thor finds that he prefers the darkness.

3\. 

When you say you love me / then prove it by going out on the sly

"What story would you like to hear now?" Loki's voice is eternally melodic, and his throat never goes dry.

From experience, Thor knows the futility of turning the question back on Loki, knows that it will only result in an endless back-and-forth, which is quite frankly a waste of Loki's talents. "Surprise me," Thor says instead.

Loki weaves a great multitude of tales, stories which span eras and vast distances. He tells Thor of the good times, reminds him of heroic feats and love gained and lost (because love is worth having no matter the cost). He paints sweet, intricate portraits of their shared adolescence, of the times since when they had managed to find some common ground and solace in one another's company, in spite of everything that had once sought to divide them.

He tells Thor about the bad times, too, the pain of losing one another, again and again, to pettiness and jealousy and unhappiness. He concocts cautionary tales of misplaced pride, of arrogances that led to bitter defeats for the both of them. He maneuvers deftly with his silver tongue around bouts of humiliation and suffering and the deepest wells of sadness, and Thor listens, letting the words wash like waves over their very souls (because Loki still has one even though he bitterly protests this fact; because Thor sees it, beaming, dazzling, nearly blinding him with every word he utters, with every eon that passes forthwith that they spend in one another's company).

4.

I won't tell you / while you paint the town / a bright red to turn it upside down / I'm painting it, too

Alas, Loki is not always the most accurate storyteller. In these instances, Thor interjects with corrections, pleas for clarity, sometimes even protests. 

Like: "I just think your editorializing about Doctor Strange here detracts from the core story a bit."

"I'm sure the children for whom he made balloon animals at birthday parties were not as put off as the rest of us by that facial hair."

And: "I have to assume the loss of Mjolnir and your sudden predilection for not wearing shirts were connected."

"..."

And: "What would have been the point of actually killing you? I just wanted to see you kneeling before me in chains and humiliated a little."

And: "I would have sacrificed myself again and again to make sure you still loved me."

"You could have just asked, brother."

"Yes, well," and Thor can feel the sun grin at him, "wherever would have been the fun in that?"

5\. 

Like him, I am doubtful / that your love is true / but if you decide to call on me / ask for Mr. Blue

"'Thor so loved the Earth that he gifted to it his very soul. As long as the beings on whom he doted, whom he protected fiercely at the cost of family, friends, his very livelihood, remained happy and healthy and safe, he did not find his sacrifice to be in vain.'"

A pause. "And did that convince him, then? Is that what ceased his tirade against all immortal beings? Did you change his mind?"

"So many questions today; but no. I didn't even disagree with him. His quest was just enough - what god can truly look past his own arrogance and admit his obsolescence? I certainly never did. The very notion was so painful for you that it lost you your hammer for a time. No, brother, Gorr was right.

"'But Thor is Thor.'"


End file.
